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By Alvin Martin

One week before Christmas, I had an eye opening experience that involved some people who wanted me to give up my life and happiness for their own sake. They carried so much negativity and bitterness with them that it made all of the things I did for them futile.

And that’s when I learned that sometimes, it’s best to just leave things the way they are because no matter how much you try to help some people, it becomes pointless and useless until they try to understand what they’re doing wrong. Sometimes, no amount of effort on your end can make them change the way they think. They have to initiate it on their own and they must be willing to admit their mistakes and change their perspective.

Here are some things in life that you shouldn’t even bother to change.

The Way People Feel About You

You can’t force someone to like you, love you, stay with you forever or apologize sincerely for hurting you. It is a decision that they have to make on their own. Also, it doesn’t make sense justifying their actions because sometimes, people just behave the way they are without really understanding the reason behind it. They are not aware of their own weirdness and are clueless that they are doing things over and over.

If you really want to understand why people behave the way they do, then you must study their whole life and dissect every detail of their past to find what you’re looking for, which is quite impossible unless you’re obsessed or that’s the only thing you want to do for the rest of your life.

For instance, somebody cheated on you and it damaged your ego. Instead of questioning and judging yourself that there’s something wrong with you or that you are not enough or that the other person is better than you, just acknowledge that it happened and choose how to react to it all.

So, stop trying to decipher how someone could behave that way at all or how they could hurt you like that. You can only change yourself, confront your own mistakes and move on. It sucks, yes,  but it saves you from wasting your time on people who don’t deserve it.

The Way Other People Live Their Life

The reason is obvious, plain and simple. It is because it is none of your business. Not unless their actions are bothering you or directly affecting you or they are your dependents, then I believe that you have no reason whatsoever to have an opinion about their life. Live and let live, guys.

And no, I’m not trying to be sarcastic. In fact, this is a really good thing because it gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself, on what you have and what you can do to make your life better, and not to mention – the benefit of not wasting your time comparing yourself to others or competing with them.

Your success should not depend on what other people have or what they have achieved in their life. The only thing that you should be concerned with is how you can become better compared to your previous self.

And to help you positively affirm yourself and realize that you are fully capable of achieving your goals, check this out – “3 Ways You Block Yourself From Being As Successful as You Could Be.”

The Way Time Changes Everything

Nothing stays the same. Things change, people change. Your first love may be the sweetest and the most caring girl you’ve ever known but after she has gone through a series of failed relationships, you wouldn’t think that she would remain the same, right? As you experience things, something in you changes, either you become worse or you become better.

According to Dr. Barton Goldsmith, not even passionate love lasts forever because at some point the honeymoon stage will be over. But the good thing is that with hard work, good relationships can thrive.

Cultivate respect for each other. Focus on the good things about your partner and not on what she lacks. Lastly, be willing to make your love for each other the best it can be.

Realize that relationships, trust, passion and feelings are not indestructible. So, the best thing you can do is to learn to handle them with care and treat them tenderly.

The Way You Are

Beauty is subjective. No one can define or describe it objectively. The combination of all your imperfections and flaws is what makes you unique and unstoppable. So, stop hating yourself. Instead, accept yourself just the way you are and just change the way you feel about yourself.

It may take some time but it’s not too hard to love and believe in yourself. Start by taking charge of your own happiness and being responsible for your own feelings. Remember that your flaws will only be your liability when you let them. It would also help if you invested in some self-care because the more you take care of yourself, the more worthy you will feel.