Image by: Keoni Cabral
By Alvin Martin

I like being straight-forward. Whenever I’m uncomfortable or offended by something, I don’t have a problem telling my friends about it. I think it’s like my defense mechanism too, to protect myself from abusive people or from those who want to take advantage of me.

Yesterday, however, I feel like I came on too strong when confronting my friend about a post he put on FB. I commented on his wall and told him it was offensive. I was able to prove a point, but I hurt him or somehow embarrassed him in the process.

I felt bad and guilty about the manner in which I reacted. I couldn’t even sleep. So the following day I called him up on the old fashioned phone and apologized for my behavior.

So, what am I getting at? First, I acknowledge that I’m imperfect and although, I write every day about inspiring other people, helping them cope with their personal issues, and empowering them by reminding them about their self-worth every single time I can, I am a human being with flaws and issues to address too. Second, I would like to help those who are experiencing the same problem and are having challenges managing their thoughts and emotions.

After some reflection, I came up with these ways to strengthen your mental power to help you behave in a positive manner under any circumstances.

Manage Your Emotions Well

Don’t waste your mental energy on things that you cannot control such as the weather, what other people think and how others live their life. Instead, save your brain power on creative endeavors or on activities and habits that produce results, solve your problems, lessen your burden and achieve your goals.

Writer Amy Morin shares ways on how you can have power over your attitude, regardless of how others around you behave.

• Focus on creating a solution rather than complaining about your problems.
• Recognize that you are in charge of yourself and that you are responsible for how you feel.
• Let go of grudges and bitterness in your heart.
• Stop playing victim by acknowledging that you always have choices.
• Never allow other people’s opinion determine your self-worth.
• Trust that you’re mentally strong enough to stand out and dare to be different.

Have a Strong Sense of Self-Worth

Negative thoughts like “I can’t possibly do it” or “I am not good enough” hold you back from becoming your best self. Instead of entertaining these useless thoughts and insecurities in your head, replace them with something that will empower you, remind you of your strength and build your self-confidence.

And speaking of insecurities, have you heard of White Knight Syndrome? According to writer Shaun Brown, this phenomenon is rooted in some form of low self-esteem, which is defined as having a destructive need to fix people and rescue others.  I have several friends who exhibit this kind of behavior. They are mostly the ones who get easily attracted to “crazy” girls or should I just say women who are struggling with some major flaw.

In my opinion, it’s impossible to maintain a position of power if you’re always trying to take someone else’s flaws and make them yours to fix. To avoid ending up with a broken heart, you have to put an end to your White Knight Syndrome and avoid gravitating into something you know is harmful, in the name of love.

Make an Effort to Stay Fit & Healthy

Self-care is essential to improving your capacity to control your thoughts, feelings and behavior. To be able to stay calm, relaxed and positive, you have to make your emotional-self feel loved and validated.  So, make an effort to love yourself more and make health and fitness your top priority.

And to help you stay on track with your diet and strength training program while enjoying your all-inclusive travel package, check this out – “How to Stay Fit On Vacation While Still Enjoying Yourself.”

Drop Your Fear & Take Risks

There’s no opportunity for self-growth when you settle for something quick and easy, when you choose to stay stuck and when you don’t have courage to go out there and challenge yourself.

In establishing your career, for instance, sometimes you have to make crucial decisions that could impact your life drastically. You may need to let go of a relationship in order to concentrate on your career, or you may have to choose between quitting your job and following your passion.

Well, you can either play it safe and stay in your comfort zone or be brave and tolerate discomfort for greater gain. The question is: will you be happy if you choose the former?

Guys, to avoid regrets, pick the choice that brings value to your life, something that offers learning opportunities and most importantly, something that gives you a chance at happiness – even if it’s scary and inconvenient because following your heart and soothing your soul are always worth the risks.

Developing your mental strength is a work in progress. It requires hard work, lots of time, practice, and most importantly, commitment to reinforce your skills, establish healthy habits and continually improve yourself to better your life.