Is Your Past Haunting You? Here’s How to Let Go, Get Over It, & Move On From Your Less Than Perfect History


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By Dave Andrews

Have you ever put so much effort and time into something but it seems that it was not just good enough? And that no matter how hard you’ve tried to pull things together, everything seems to just fall apart?

Man, I am one with you. One of the biggest setbacks in my life took place not too long ago when I was trying to revive my dying relationship.

I was so mad when my GF admitted that she cheated on me on purpose after we had a big argument. Call me crazy but despite everything she did, I was still in love with her and I was still willing to give our relationship another shot. So, I forgave her.

Though I wasn’t entirely happy about my decision, at least she was still on my side. All I had to do was make sure that it would never happen again.

However, every time I was with her, I felt off, like I was not really being myself. And even if she was doing nice things for me, I was dissatisfied.

Never take your pain for granted. Don’t bottle it or ignore it because you might just explode.

Truth is I couldn’t deny the fact that what she did to me kept running over and over again in my mind. I’ve realized that I didn’t really give it time to sink in and I didn’t think about the consequences.

In the piece “3 Things You Need to Do If You Decide to Stay With a Cheater,” writer Anne Cohen emphasizes the importance of forgiving your partner “from deep within.”

When you choose to stay, you have to forgive from the bottom of your heart, completely let go of the past and be willing to fully trust the person again. If you do this halfheartedly, you will just be wasting your time because eventually everything will surely fail.

After some time, I’ve realized that I don’t possess the ability to completely forgive and trust someone again after betraying me. It was indeed psychologically disturbing. So, I broke up with her and moved on.

You must learn to accept that everything that’s happening is all part of your evolution.

Leaving the past behind is not easy. Bitterness and resentment will haunt you from time to time but once you’ve embraced what you can’t change and start to find the lesson behind the whole experience, you’ll become a better and a stronger person.

It needs to happen. Pain is essential for you to evolve and grow. Sometimes, we need to be a little terrified to find courage, a little lost to find our way and a little heartbroken to learn the lesson.

According to Rajie Kablie of Collective Evolution, change occurs on every level of our being, right down to our cells. It’s the nature of reality.

The sun rises and sets, friends come and go; people change and sometimes, love ends. It’s the law of the universe and you can’t do anything about it. So, stop fighting, stop resisting, just learn to accept things as they are and get on with life.

Identify the lesson learned and try not to commit the same mistakes again.

Try to be constructive, not destructive, in coping with your heartaches. Make the past your best friend and not your worst enemy.

Any situation can be a learning experience. Two days ago, I got a small cut chopping an onion and that taught me to avoid using a small knife to slice big veggies. It may sound simple but when you’ve identified the lesson, naturally you would avoid doing the same thing again because you know you can get hurt.

To help you improve your learning curve, check this out – “I’m a Personal Trainer: Here’s the Advice I Give Every Single Client.”

I like #7 the most: Get stronger, run further and swing harder. Be strong in fighting your insecurities and fear and don’t linger on less productive emotions.

Focus on what you can do.

Don’t get stuck in the past. Instead empower yourself with other possibilities that could potentially create outstanding results.

As an entrepreneur, you have to be receptive when it comes to new developments and advances in your industry. There’s nowhere else to go but forward.

Modern technology has changed how business is done, from making transactions, marketing your product and providing customer service. Unfortunately, there are still many people out there who are stuck in the stone age of paper forms and printed handbooks.

Guys, it’s important to catch up with the times, adapt with the changes and reinvent yourself if you have to so that you’ll have a better chance of staying in business.

Life is full of surprises. There are many bad and unexpected things that could happen in your day. But the thing is as long as you’re breathing, you have the ability to choose how to deal with the situation.

You can choose to stay stuck or you can decide to move forward and get on with life. It’s your choice but I do hope you pick the latter.