When Life Is Beating You Up, Here’s How You Fight Back & Stay Driven Through It All

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By Alvin Martin

My father used to work for the US Naval Base in Subic Bay, Philippines. I didn’t know much about the work that he did at the time but what I remembered was when an employee served for at least 10 years, he and his family would have the chance to migrate to the U.S.

So, you could only imagine my father’s disappointment when on his 9th year in service the US Armed Forces closed down and left the country because of some political issues. It was in 1991 and I was just 11 that time.

I couldn’t remember every detail of it, but all I knew was that we couldn’t afford many things or the lifestyle that we used to have before. I witnessed my father having a hard time looking for a new job, either the companies would say that he was too old or he was overqualified.

In my mind, everything was over.

Have you ever felt like it’s the end of the world for you? Well, let me tell you that what you felt was more than just an emotional drama. It is valid and real, we all have our share of doubt.

Based on my family’s experience, I came up with these 4 steps on how you can pick yourself up and move on whenever you feel like it’s the end of your story.

First, you have to identify what’s guiding your emotions and your actions. Are you driven by your ego or are you motivated by kindness?

Guys, remember that treating people right matters more than personal gain.

The piece “15 Life Rules to Know Before You Turn 30” best presents this principle.

The older we get the more we realize that what people think of us is irrelevant to our happiness. So, before you turn 30, you should at least be able to get over yourself; stop worrying about unimportant things and just make the most of the time you have on Earth.

To do that, you should focus more on experiences, helping others and spreading simple acts of kindness instead of always thinking what’s in it for you or what you have to gain. Focusing on the things that really matter can do so much in improving the quality of your life in the most surprising and most wonderful ways possible.

The next step is to learn to shift your perspective, not accepting that “this is how your story ends” and choosing to rise up from the ashes.

We can learn so much about motivation and staying positive from the boxing legend, civil rights activist and cultural icon, the late Muhammad Ali.

One of my favorite Muhammad Ali quotes is “Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.”

Conquering your ego can be a very humbling experience.

Be humble enough to ask for help or take advice from other people, especially from those who have already proven themselves, people who have more experience and even from those who are younger or less-educated than you.

Look around and you’ll be surprised there are a lot of successful people and billionaire entrepreneurs without a college degree like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg.

This only proves that attitude is the best indicator of success and not some college diploma.

Another college drop-out who is now an accomplished tech-investor is Ashton Kutcher. Check out the brilliant investment advice he gave Chelsea Handler in this one-minute video.

The final step is to reach outward and pursue a goal or a kind of happiness that is directed on having better relationship with others.

Instead of focusing on yourself, be a gentleman or a refined warrior.

The piece “George S. Patton’s Rules on Being an Officer and a Gentleman” will enlighten you on how you can become a real man and how you can judge yourself by the things and the kindness you do for others.

Soldiers are known for upholding discipline and character. They honor tradition and most importantly, their profession is all about making sacrifices and being of service to other people.

Guys, we don’t need to be a military person or an Airforce member to uphold these virtues and become real gentlemen.  We can start by being kind and considerate to the needs of others. Pay your debts, don’t speak ill of any man and don’t try gaining success or happiness by pulling down others.

Sometimes, life has a special way of teaching us lessons that make us tougher and prepare us for what lies ahead.

As for my family, we didn’t let that big obstacle break us. We didn’t choose to dwell on our miseries. Instead, we learn to become humble and more appreciative of the things we already have. Most importantly, we didn’t lose our faith in each other.

So whenever you feel that everything around you is falling apart, remember that you have the power to turn your challenges and miseries into your life’s ultimate story and become your own hero. Just never say it’s over and be ready to write the next chapter.