Image by: BrookLorin
By Alvin Martin

When I was younger, I used to think that being known as a notorious player was cool. I would pick random girls in the club almost every weekend and hook up without commitment. However, things changed when Zara came into my life. She’s beautiful, independent and smart. I easily fell in love with her.

I was serious about our relationship until I received a message from one of my ex’s telling me that she and her bf broke up. And because we were still friends and I kind of felt needed, I went to see her without informing Zara about it.

When I met up with her, I didn’t know what happened, perhaps some old feelings of attraction came rushing back and for some reason I suddenly felt like I was missing my old lifestyle, so ended up sleeping with her. And though I regret it, I still decided to keep it from my girlfriend.

Unfortunately, Zara found out about it and broke up with me immediately. It was bad guys.  I didn’t realize how much she meant to me until I lost her. And though I know it was my fault, the shame, the pain and the discomfort were unbearable.

It took me years before I completely recovered from the breakup. I know now that I could never win her back and I guess that’s reality, but it’s what I have to deal with.  Bad stuff happens all the time and sometimes, nothing can protect you from it. So, the best thing to do is to just let life teach you the lesson, pick yourself back up, and move on.

Hiding from the world won’t help. It will only make you sick and miss some good opportunities to heal and to be happy once again. So, here are ways to keep things in perspective whenever you feel like the whole universe is against you.

Allow Yourself to Grieve But Don’t Get Stuck

It would be too risky to make any drastic actions when you have a broken heart or are being ruled by your emotions because it can paralyze you from being rational and from being fair to yourself and to others. To make sure that you won’t make any decisions that you would regret, give yourself sometime to respect your feelings and acknowledge that you’re just being human. You can spend some quiet time alone or you can talk to your trusted friends to get things off your chest.

In the piece “Relationship Advice: How to Get Over Your Ex, Once And For All,” writer Sheiresa Ngo explains the importance of giving yourself some space to grieve, to think about what you’ve learned and how your experience can change you as a person for the better.

Guys, no matter what happens, don’t get stuck. Go out there, meet new people, have fun with your friends and get back in the game.

Implement Gratitude in Your Life

Be thankful for the challenges in your life as they make you realize what you’re made of. I know this one is not easy but having a grateful mind and heart is the only way to move on gracefully and grow.

According to writer Michael Jacobs, gratitude instantly puts you in touch with the feeling of love. And where love resides, fear and all other negative emotions cannot. So, voice out your blessings and acknowledge simple things that bring you joy even when life gets rough.

Believe That Pain Makes You Stronger

Sometimes, it takes a broken heart to shake you awake and to make you realize that you are tougher than you think and you can handle more than you imagine. This is the reason why you should never underestimate the power of pain because it can change you forever. It can make you wiser, stronger and a source of inspiration to others. It can make you understand the meaning and the purpose of life.

And to help you , check this out – “8 Things to Tell Yourself When You Feel Like a Failure” to help embrace your pain and turn it into something beautiful.

Create Inner Peace & Joy

I used to seek happiness and calm outside myself when I was in pain or when I couldn’t understand why certain things happened to me. I used to make myself feel better by going to the club, drinking with my friends and picking up random girls. After sometime, I realized that my behavior wasn’t helping me at all.

So, I tried to look inside myself and got in touch with my spirituality. I became more conscious with my actions and paid more attention to creating inner peace and joy.

Guys, you don’t have to look very far to find happiness. Sometimes, you just have to open your heart, create thoughts that make you feel good and be more mindful in your life.