Image by: TheUjulala
By Ronnie Toofan

My friend Dane used to be a very nice guy, and when I say nice I mean he would always try to please people. He’d never really say NO to anyone and would always help others even if it was inconvenient for him. So, when he got promoted from an agent position to supervisor in the company he was working for, I think his friends were happier than he was.

As their company’s newest team leader, he was in charge of improving the employees’ attendance record and boosting their performance. However, being the “friendly” and “nice” person that he was, he had difficulties executing his job. Dane was doing personal favors here and there and it was negatively affecting his work. His absenteeism rate went up and the production rate went down.

When the monthly reports came out, Dane’s manager asked him to explain why his team’s performance was so low. And since he couldn’t provide an acceptable reason, his boss threatened to demote him to a different department if he couldn’t get his agents to perform and reach their team’s quota in the following 4 weeks.

Determined to keep his position and do his job, Dane got strict when dealing with his friends. He disapproved sick leaves when they were not supported by proper medical documents, he got his team’s attention when their numbers were behind and learned to keep a professional relationship with his friends inside the company without the usual favors.

As expected, many agents and many of his friends didn’t like the new Dane. They tried to avoid hanging out with him and even accused him of being kiss-ass. It was painful for him but he didn’t pay attention to them. Instead, he just chose to do his job properly.

As a result of his hard work and patience, Dane was able to deliver the results that were expected of him. His executive manager was so pleased that he gave him a special commendation, a bonus, and a promise that if his team would continue to reach their quota, he would be up for another promotion after 6 months.

Sometimes, if you want to advance in life, you have to do things that may be inconvenient for you and for other people. You might also need to disappoint some of your friends and your loved ones and sacrifice a big part of your social life to gain more work experience and improve your skills. Here are other reasons why you should learn to set boundaries and be comfortable with saying NO.

Because You Don’t Want to Lose Touch of Who You Are

One of the best ways to maintain self-respect is to protect yourself from repetitive requests of user-friendly people and the ridiculous and inconsiderate demands of some family members and friends. However, in order to do that, you must enforce limits and make time to attend to your own needs and for what makes you happy.

Writer Danielle Fagan suggests applying these 10 Laws of Boundaries to not lose your sense of purpose, create balance in your life and put your relationships in a healthy state.

Because Sometimes It Is Necessary to Disappoint People

Many people fear being left out so they feel obligated to say YES. However, sometimes, saying NO is necessary to make sure that you fulfill all your commitments, create more opportunities, value your time and offer better alternatives.

In the piece “6 Instances When Nicely Saying NO Benefits Your Business,” writer Jacqueline Whitmore offers some ways on how you can avoid taking on too many requests, being taken advantage of, and feeling resentful in the end.

Because High Stress Levels Hurt Your Health

This is when the emotional becomes biological. Your body is only designed to consume and digest a reasonable amount of stress. Therefore when you give your mind and body more than it can handle, it can result in numerous health issues, such as brain function, thyroid disease, immune system problems, and chronic weight problems.

According to Dr. William Cole, emotional issues like dealing with your toxic marriage or having to put up with your abusive family members, friends, co-workers and bosses can wreck all your attempts at a healthy lifestyle and become a poison to your well-being.

So, when saying YES makes you feel drained, bad about yourself or emotionally disturbed, it’s time to create  balance and protect your physical, mental and spiritual well-being by setting appropriate and healthy boundaries.

Because You Are In Charge Of Your Own Life

People will disrespect, insult, abuse, berate and misuse you if you allow them to. Remember that you always have a choice and that you always have the power over your decisions in life.

So, man up, take control of your life and learn to set clear firm boundaries to allow others to treat you with respect.

Here are other positive effects of saying NO more often:

• It encourages you to become more honest with yourself, about your expectations and what you truly feel.
• It reminds you to honor your own needs.
• It teaches you to stand on your own ground, feel more confident and create inner harmony for yourself.
• It makes you better in recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.