Image by: brenkee
By Alvin Martin

When I was younger, I was a slave to my emotions. I easily got annoyed when my friends had a hard time understanding me and I would get easily depressed when I felt that people didn’t like me.

It took me years to attain a certain level of self-awareness and understanding that there are certain things in this world I have no control over and that bad crap happens all the time.

So, today, I decided to share with you some interesting things that I’ve learned from my life’s journey on how to filter your feelings, especially when you’re dealing with overwhelming situations.

Learn to Press the Pause Button

Take your time in understanding the issue first before reacting to the situation. This practice will provide you an ample space to breathe and make wiser choices instead of having a knee-jerk reaction.

Negative emotions tend to interrupt logic and reasoning before it could be completely processed by the mind. When this happens, you get easily impatient, frustrated and you tend to lose control of everything. To regulate your emotions and gain back control of yourself, take a deep breath and calm yourself down.

In the piece “This is the One Thing to Remember to ‘Fight Clean’ in Your Relationship,” writer Courtney Dercqu explains the importance of understanding the root cause of your problem instead of aiming to attack.

It is true that we always tend to take our frustrations out on those who are closest to us. So, when something bad happens in our day, our partners become our primary target. Taking a few minutes to analyze how you feel before you speak allows you “fight healthily” and handle the situation with respect and dignity.

Be Careful With Your Words

Words are reflections of your thoughts. It’s important that you learn to monitor them and be aware of the message that you may be communicating to others. Remember that your tongue is powerful enough to break a heart and destroy a soul. So, always choose to use kind words as it reflects class and good manners.

According to Stefan Swanepoel, your word choice could impede problem-solving, particularly in your business.

I worked in the corporate world for more than 10 years and I couldn’t agree more with that statement. I strongly believe that the use of constructive words or subtleties in language can help boost a person’s morale and create a long term positive culture that encourages people to do better.

Aside from that, here are other ways positive communication can turn the situation around and how you, as a leader, can make that happen:

• When employee conflicts arise, it’s best to make simple statements like, “I can see the issues from both sides. Let’s try this.”
• Use of honest yet constructive feedback could help you get your people to work together even when there’s difference of opinion.
• Always acknowledge your employees’ ideas and suggestions to put them in better mindset and to encourage them to progress.

Find a Healthy Outlet

Guys, let me make myself clear on this one. Taking a pause and bottling up your emotions are two different things. The former broadens your perspective and gives you enough space and time to analyze your feelings so you could respond properly; while the latter makes you sick and kills you slowly.

So, after gaining back control of yourself, it is best to release all that negative energy that you’re trying to contain inside in a healthy way such as drawing, performing arts or doing some aggressive exercises.

To help you liberate your sentiments, you can try “The Killer 8-Minute Kettlebell Workout.”

This workout may seem dubious but it is guaranteed to keep your health elevated, burn your calories and modify your legs, glutes, arms and chest while you kick all those negative emotions out of your system.

Ask Your Spirit Guide to Illuminate the Best Path Forward

Having strong faith and believing that there’s a divine being that is most powerful in all the world can save you in your darkest moments.

In 2012, when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was devastated. I locked myself in my room and didn’t come out for couple of days. I had no idea how to deal with it but surprisingly, while I was going through some of my old stuff, I came across an old note I received when I was in high school. It read, “Just remember, when you can’t find a way out, just look up.” That simple note enlightened me and reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

Seeking healing and spiritual expansion by communicating with higher powers allows you to create your own unique scared space, achieve higher consciousness and heal inside. It could also help you understand life’s general message and deal with your burdens with conscious awareness and kindness.

Guys, just always remember that negative emotions must be handled with extreme care. These types of feelings are best met with some sense of rationality, perspective and compassion.