Image by: PublicDomainPictures
By Alvin Martin
Every man has that one girl in his life that he’ll never forget. Mine was Iris. I met her during my sophomore year in college when we got invited by a common friend of ours to visit his hometown.
We decided to spend the night at his place and shared the guestroom together with his 2 other friends.
While we were playing cards, I realized that I left my phone in my bag so I had to go back to the guestroom and get it. I didn’t know that Iris was already sleeping. She looked so peaceful in her sleep and cute too.
The next morning, while we were having breakfast, I just started to notice everything about her, her smile, how she carried herself and how she behaved around other people.
Our insecurities are culprits that hold us back from our happiness.
I had second thoughts of asking her out on a date. I felt like she was out of my league and that she was too pretty for me. However, my feelings were stronger than my fear so I decided to take a chance. Turns out, she felt the same way too.
We became inseparable for two years until we started talking about settling down after graduation and somehow it scared me. I wasn’t ready for all that, so I tried to gain back my freedom by breaking up with her.
I made an excuse that I needed to concentrate more on my studies to keep my scholarship.
There is discomfort in telling the truth that can hurt the people we care about.
In “Stop Lying to Yourself: We All Need Closure At the End of a Relationship” writer Candice Jalili explains how important it is to clarify things with your partner, whether you’re the one initiating the breakup or you’re the one on the receiving end.
When I broke up with Iris, I was so defensive. I didn’t tell her the truth because somehow I wanted her to wait for me, I didn’t want her to move on. I just wanted some space but I couldn’t tell her that because I was afraid of disappointing her.
Even if you devote your whole life to trying not to disappoint people, you will still end up disappointing them.
A month later, I realized I missed her but I just tried to ignore my feelings. I knew she would just reject me if I ask for another chance. So, I didn’t let her know how much I loved her still.
Guys, don’t let your fears control your life especially if you don’t want to live on “what if’s” and “maybes.”
All my fears were out of place during that time. I was afraid of losing my freedom; that’s why I made a hasty decision. I was scared of disappointing her, but I ended up hurting her more, I was scared of being rejected so I had to suffer the consequences of thinking what could’ve happened if I only had the courage to win her back.
Fear can be an opportunity when we understand its nature.
If it’s based on crazy thoughts and perceived limitations, then it’s not valid. We have to change our mindset, indulge in some self-reflection and positive self-talk.
Before making any decision, know what’s good and what’s important for you. It takes the pressure off when you fully understand the consequences of your actions.
“How to Make the Most of Two Competing Job Offers” by Martha C. White teaches us how to pick the better option when we are presented with two promising job offers.
To make the most out of the opportunities, we have to look beyond the compensation package and ask questions about opportunities for advancement, performance measurement plans, mentorship programs, and the company’s culture.
This can also be applied in personal life situations. There’s no need to fear making choices as long as you take your time in weighing your options well.
On the other hand, some fears are valid like the fear of getting seriously ill.
Nowadays, there’s always a food being called out for something gross and deadly like salmonella and it can really make someone paranoid.
I think it’s reasonable to avoid food that might make you sick and be more conscious about your health.
Just like, Aspartame, one of the biggest artificial sweeteners in diet drinks and sugar packets like NutraSweet and Equal. Though it was declared by the FDA as a safe sugar alternative, there are still a lot of surprising facts that you need to know about it.
Conquer your fear of trying something new.
Life is full of opportunities to experience and experiment on. So be brave and dare yourself to live a full life, without letting fear take over.
And to spice up your bedroom activities, here are some fun ideas to try to challenge the inner man beast in you.
Our ability to act in the face of fear determines the quality of our lives.
Uncover the nature of your fear, identify its validity, and examine your options before you take action.
Accept that disappointments are part of the journey. And never let your irrational fears hold you back from pursuing your dreams.