Image by: Rock Revival
By Phillip K. Issa
Every man will possess at least one pair of jeans as part of his wardrobe collection. Even the most successful man wears jeans. They are rugged, comfortable and exactly what you would want to be wearing when the zombie apocalypse breaks out.
Jeans say “Hey, I’m not working right now” or, even better, “I run this place so I can wear whatever-the-hell pants I want.”
Let’s do an inventory on the different categories of jeans.
Favorite Old Worn-In Comfort Jeans
Along with high-end sunglasses and your fave sports insignia baseball cap, basic blue jeans are an essential part of that weekend-casual look that has been a staple of the American male since, gosh, any of us not wearing a diaper can remember.
These are usually made by Levi’s or Lee and feature zero adornments and are always very worn-in looking and feeling. They will most likely feature a few minor real tears or wear spots, just like nature intended (or something like that).
When the chips are down, these jeans go on. They will cheer you up – like a puppy … that you can wear.
Expensive Designer Jeans
Jeans may have started as a working man’s necessity more than a hundred years ago, but these days they are also part of high fashion. Remember the ’80s? Jeans jumped from dungaree to designer status and suddenly jeans were everywhere.
Jordache anyone?
But those higher price tags also allowed the more affluent to break down the no-jeans-allowed barrier for the rest of us – kind of like the Rosa Parks of denim – making it acceptable to wear your blues in places previously thought of as off-limits.
If the rest of your outfit is baller, those $400 designer dress jeans – or heck, even a $150 pair of Rock Revivals (pictured above) – will fit right in at certain night spots, especially if you are taking up real estate in the VIP bottle service section.
Yes, for the price of one of these pairs of high-end fashion jeans, it is possible to buy 50 pairs of basic Lee jeans. But the designer duds do look pretty awesome, I must say, especially with ass-kicking boots.
And isn’t that the point?
Expensive Designer Jeans – NOT ALLOWED!
There are still places that jeans are not – and will never be – welcome. No matter how much flair and deluxe sandpaper treatment you apply to your pants, at the end of the day they are still blue jeans, and in certain circles, they just will not wanted.
And you know what, that’s a good thing. I don’t want jeans to be everywhere. That would make them less cool, less special.
Like when everybody got into jazz and pushed out the heads. Or like if the FCC was to suddenly allow cussing on prime time television. It would take all of the counter-culture fun out of swears. It is the forbidden fruit. Don’t take away our forbidden fruit.
That’s when an apple is just an apple. And who want to bite into a regular old apple when you can bite into a mutherf*cking apple.
“I Don’t Care” Jeans
These are past their prime – usually former comfort jeans that have one-too-many rips or tears in them. Perfect for yard work and oil changes. You don’t really care if something gets on these jeans.
And they just might be your favorite pair.