Be More Vulnerable & Don’t Let a Jaded Past Stand In Between You & Your Dreams

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By Ronnie Toofan

Last year, I made a new friend named Diego. He was a foreigner who came here for asylum. I imagined how hard it must have been for him to start over and live in a place with a totally different culture.

Diego owns a small eatery in my area. Every weekend I make it a point to eat at his place and have a small chat with him.

One day he invited me to dinner at his house and it was then that he opened up and told me about his life. I found out that he brought his family with him, but when they experienced hardship regarding their finances, his wife took their child and left him for another man.

That was a real soul-crushing experience, but he still tried to move on and rebuild his life.

Life doesn’t always turn out the way you want it too.

However, after opening his first business, the two helpers he hired robbed him and stole all his money. Suffice it to say this was the lowest point of his life; he had no family, his wife wouldn’t let him see his son and all the money he worked for was gone.

If I was in that position, I wouldn’t have known what to do. I have never experienced anything like that and I wouldn’t even want to imagine myself in his shoes.

Diego told me that he just wanted to give up on life, but he realized he couldn’t.

Happiness is worth reaching for.

So, he contacted some of his friends from their expatriate community and told them what happened. They gave him their full support, emotionally and financially. They were the reason he ended up opening a business in my area.

Recently, things have gotten better for him. His wife agreed to let him see his son once a month and he was also able to expand his business by opening another location.

At one point in our lives, we all get burned out, feel exhausted dealing with personal issues, and we all have difficulties moving on. However, what differentiates us from others is how we manage to pick ourselves up and turn our lives around.

Don’t let your past and your experiences rob you of your happiness.

In Matthew Farris’ piece on Elite Daily, he made a good point raising the issue on how society expects men to be a little less emotional than women especially when it comes to dealing with personal troubles.

That’s true, but hiding our vulnerability prevents us from giving love another chance.

Being open about your fragility doesn’t mean you have to cry in front of the girl on your first date. Dude, what I was trying to say is that once you’ve already established a good amount of foundation in your relationship, be honest with your partner about your feelings and be a little more trusting.

Get real and stop lying to yourself.

Self-honesty has a major bearing in your life. This can be really hard to do, but the results can be very rewarding.

In the piece “10 Most Destructive Lies Business Owners Tell Themselves,” Timothy Carter explains how personal biases, assumptions and personal emotions can distract us from making sound decisions.

Just because it was your brilliant idea or your favorite employee’s opinion doesn’t mean everything will work out.

You waste your time trying to fix things and working harder when all you need to do is accept that you could be wrong and that there might be a better way to approach things.

Forcing things will just leave you more frustrated and worn-down.

Take a break. Sometimes, doing something you enjoy could relieve you from stress and all the heaviness of your everyday life.

Check this out – “5 Ways a Day Off From the Gym is Actually Good For You.”

In this piece, Christine Skopec tells us that sometimes spending a little bit of time away from the weight room can be one of the best things we can do for our body.

Taking a day off from the gym can actually reduce the risk of getting stress fracture, boost your mood, and even help improve the quality of your sleep.

Moving on is essential. You have to learn to grow and toughen up.

Problems can make you feel shallow and void, however, you shouldn’t let it suck the life out of you, kill your spirit and defeat your chances of being happy in this life.

And to remind yourself how strong you’ve become and how far you’ve come in dealing with your personal challenges, here’s “5 Things to Remember When You Feel Like You’re Failing At Adulting.”

I’ve been there before. It was depressing, discouraging and very unhealthy. But I realized that this is my life. So, I had to get back on my feet and help myself find a way to believe in my dreams again.

Man, it was not easy, but it was not impossible.