Guys, Start the New Year On a High Note & Learn to Avoid the Pitfalls Unhappy People Create For Themselves


Image by: lechenie-narkomanii
By James Reubin

Last week, my wife and I finally moved in to our new place. After buying everything that we needed, finishing all the last minute touches and getting settled, we decided to invite over two of our closest friends, Ken and Carla, who are also married and who helped us out with some of the plumbing work in the house.

The last time they saw our place, it was still empty – no furniture, no curtains, not even carpeting. So, when they arrived and saw how much we had fixed the unit, they were amazed. I guess we did a good job decorating.

While we were having dinner, Carla noticed the new dish rack that we bought. It wasn’t expensive, but I think it was good enough to serve its purpose. She told us how her and Ken have been living together for several years now and that he’s never even bought her something as small as a dish rack. The comment was off putting enough that it clearly embarrassed Ken in front of me and my wife. After that, there were a few minutes of awkward silence.

When they left, my wife told me how the comment was uncalled for, especially because Ken works really hard just bought her an expensive designer name purse and dress for Christmas. To add to it, Carla also told us how she wanted Ken to buy her some new appliances this year, but hasn’t gotten around to it yet. The crappy part about all these comments in that Ken just spent most of his money this year building their house and told me how he was still trying to build back his savings.

I don’t understand how he could tolerate all that ungratefulness. Perhaps it was love – who knows? But it made me realize something, that sometimes, no matter what you do, you can’t please someone who doesn’t know how to be grateful and who never feels contented with the things that they have.

Inspired by that awkward dinner, I came up with a short list of important things that unhappy people don’t know and how you can avoid being like them.

They Don’t Know Who They Truly Are

It’s impossible to achieve happiness if you don’t know what you want in life – what makes you happy and what you really need to satisfy your soul. The thing is gentlemen, is that most people don’t understand that it’s not always about material things and how much money you have, but about practicing gratitude, having some sense of contentment in your heart and discovering your life’s meaning and purpose.

According to writer Courtney Dercqu, happiness is all about discovering what you want out of life, having an understanding of who you truly are and finding confidence with everything that you have and you don’t have.

I believe that once you get to know yourself, you will also find the confidence and courage you need to do the things you never thought were possible, like taking risks to pursue the things that are important to you and finding inspiration to make a difference.

They Don’t Know How to Give

When I was young, I remember getting annoyed by some of my neighbors who started soliciting money for funerals, outreach programs and every other type of thing that required financial assistance in their lives. However, my father being the generous man he is, told me one thing about giving that I will never forget. He said, “You’re always in a better position when you’re the one giving than being the one on the receiving end or the one who needs help.”  He also explained that giving never disappoints because you can’t give what you don’t have.

That one lesson inspired me to become more helpful towards other people in need. It also made me realize that giving actually gives you the power to make yourself and others happy and turn the world into a much better place.

In this inspiring video, CEO of Sports 1 Marketing, David Meltzer, shares the things that happen biologically when you give:

• You feel good because serotonin is released in your brain. The more you give, the happier you become.
• Good things will happen to you at the right time, although not necessarily immediately.
• You will be able to make the life of those around you better.
• You will learn about other people and their situation.
• It makes you see what you can do to help yourself feel better.

So, guys, if you want to live in abundance and genuine happiness, learn to give first because it could change your life.

They Don’t Know How to Take Care of Their Well-Being

Another thing that’s stopping you from being your happiest self is not making your well-being and your health your top priority. It’s okay to have some guilty pleasures once in a while, but just don’t make your indulgences a habit. Avoid eating unhealthy foods and work on improving your physical health and mental strength.

And to help you lift your mood and attract more positive energy, you can practice controlling your breathing through meditation. Meditation is an ancient practice that has a lot of significant health benefits that could result in a better quality of life.

They Don’t Know How to Continuously Adapt to Change

Unhappy people worry about the things that they can’t change. They focus more on what could’ve-should’ve-and-would’ve happened in life instead of learning from their mistakes, embracing things that they can’t control and making things happen. Having this kind of attitude will make you miss out on many great things in life.

So, just try to be a little more flexible. Learn to accept that change is a way of life and realize that once you embrace those changes that you have no control of, the happier and the better your life will become.