Save Yourself From A Shoe Disaster!

Image by: ishane
By Phillip K. Issa

Unlike women, men often struggle with what shoes to wear. Like, all the time. You see guys sporting dress shoes with shorts, Air Jordans with slacks and Chuck Taylors at weddings. We have got to get it together, gentlemen. Your shoe disaster is a huge turn-off to shoe-obsessed females and it’s making us all look bad.

There are rules to follow when it comes to kicks, such as the one that says your shoes need to match your belt. You know this, most of you get that right. But there are other rules that aren’t as widely known, that seem to have been forgotten. For one, your shoes should be lighter than the color of your pants. OK, sounds reasonable. Also, the dominate color of your socks should match your shoes. Sure.

Shoes lighter than pants. Got it. Socks gotta match the shoes. OK.

However, this one gets abused all the time: Socks with flip-flops or sandals. That is not cool, ever. The only time you should have socks on with sandals is if you are wearing the variant known as slides, which actually look a lot like sandals, but aren’t, and were purposefully designed to wear with socks. A great addition to your collection, by the way.

Let’s recap: Slides and socks yes, Birkenstocks and socks no. Got it, hippie?

Please Wear Sneakers Responsibly

Hey, jackass … that whole sneakers-with-a-suit look only works if you are a counter-culture icon whose very act of wearing a suit is ironic in itself. Meaning, Tommy Lee could pull this off stunt, you can’t. You know when those running shoes are appropriate? When you’re running. And the blinding white high tops with dark jeans look is only cool if you play bass in an extreme metal band.

Formal (Special Events, Tailored Suits)

This is where you break out the good stuff. Think top-of-the-line footwear, you know, the kind you only wear once a year. Dust those bad boys off and set new standards of style – or at least stave off embarrassment for the evening. These shoes should look brand new, without any scuffs, scrapes or dog bites.

Loafers With No Socks

Look, dude – while loafers fall somewhere in the middle between formal and casual, that doesn’t give you cart blanche to throw everything out the window and do whatever the hell it is you want to do. Yes, back in the 1980s this was a trend. But nobody has a time machine and nobody wants to see your sock-less feet frolicking around the yacht club or hotel bar trying to pick up sixty year-olds.