According to This Lady, Elephants Directly Support Terrorism

By Richard K. Noots

Kathryn Bigelow has decided to put her heart to stopping elephants that support terrorism. The illegal trade of ivory gives billions of dollars each year to terrorists and other idiots alike, for reasons unknown. Apparently, people really like these animal products that are the exact same thing as teeth. Over 30,000 elephants are killed each year for ivory, which means we only have a few years left until the 700,000 that are left are finally murdered too. Please, watch this video and do your part in stopping elephant-sponsored terrorism.